[Alumni-chat] ambivalence

[Pam Olsen]

John Hevelin wrote:

Pam, I think we attended Antioch at the same time, although I don't have any
memory of you (other div?).  One of the reasons I decided to attend Antioch
was because it didn't seem have a lot of the immature student stuff going on
that seemed to occur at other schools -- panty raids, binge drinking,
fraternity/sorority hazing, all of the hoopla surrounding sporting events,
stuff that still goes on today and occasionally leads to death.  I remember
a friend of mine from high school who graduated a few years ahead of me and
who went to Union College in Schenectady.  His descriptions of the hazing
inflicted on incoming students appalled me.  The demonstrations at Gegner's
barbershop the spring before I started Antioch in the summer of 1964 made
the news in my small town in upstate New York, and my classmates had fun
teasing me with remarks like, "Still going to that commie school, Hevelin?"
You bet I was.  Students demonstrating to end segregation seemed more adult
to me than fr
 at
parties and hazing.

I found most of my classmates at Antioch to be very adult and very mature.
There were some exceptions, but by and large, it was a comfortable
community.  I have been friends with some Antiochians for over forty years.
I never felt physically or emotionally threatened.  It was an exciting and
challenging and stimulating place to be.  I grieve over the impending
closure.



Hi John,  I don't remember you, either.  I think I was on B-div most of the
time....I changed near the end after a nine month job.   Antioch was a big
place then.

I remember deciding on Antioch for many of the same reasons, plus the co-op
program, the opportunity to travel around the country, the honor system, and
community government.  It seemed like a much more sensible place than other
schools.  And I also found it to be comfortable in many ways. Even though I
had some struggles there, I would not have considered going anyplace else.
I met a guy from Kalamazoo College on a co-op, and he told me recently
(we're still friends) that one reason he never proposed was that there was
no way I would consider leaving Antioch to be with him.  I mean gheezh! when
I visited him at Kalamazoo, the only place on campus we could be alone was
in the middle of the tennis court!  The environment there was stifflingly
controlling.  

The more I listen to people and think about kids today, the more I realize
it was mostly the conservative community that I grew up in (Utah in the
50s), not having the background in critical thinking, not having been
exposed to many of the books that most students had read in high school,
and not being able to handle the quantity of work because of that and being
ADHD that made it overwhelming for me in some ways.  It probably didn't help
that my parents were involved in their own problems and were no support.
They didn't have a clue what kinds of challenges Antioch presented, and
wouldn't have known how to help if they did.

THe sexual revolution didn't help.  That was much easier for boys than for
girls, of course, many of whom struggled with the constant pressure and the
possible consequences.   I for one cheered when the girls finally stood up
to the boys and said "No means NO!"   Of course, today's kids have been
dealing with the issues of drugs and sex since Jr. High!  So these things
are probably not as troubling to them by the time they get to college.

The thing about Antioch, for me, is this:  there is no way to predict how
students will do there, and how they will fare with the variety of
stimulating challenges.  Another one:  Ruth Churchill told me my fifth year
that she wasn't convinced that moving so much was good for Antiochians.
"You learn not to love."   And I realized that on one of my last jobs, after
two months, a gal I was working with said to me, "What is WRONG with you!?"
"What do you mean?"  "I've been trying to make friends with you for two
months.  I've invited you to do things several times.  You always say no!
Why are you doing that?  I want to be your friend!"  And I realized that I
wasn't making friends anymore because it was so hard to leave them.  I had
friends scattered all over the country.  I got over it and she became a dear
friend.

sorry I have such a plodding mind, but my point is that, typically, as in my
case, the students who are admitted to Antioch have been, to that point,
very successful in their lives.  And suddenly they are presented with many
new challenges, from every angle, all at once.   There is no way to predict
how they will manage them.  Some students seem to manage them very well, and
others struggle a LOT!  I loved Antioch.   AND I would be greatly comforted
about sending kids I know there if I knew that there is some kind of
mechanism now to monitor with them how they are managing them all.

I KNOW it wasn't just me, since I know how many of my friends (not all, but
many) and acquaintances struggled with depression and even suicidal
ideation, even those who were managing the academics well.  If there are
still suicides, if there are still students who go through severe
depressions, it's still happening.  I know there are suicides at every
college, but it should not be happening.  Not in any college.  But each
college needs to take responsibiltiy for the kinds of challenges their
students are dealing with in their environment, and help them.  "Go
somewhere else" is not a solution.  It would not be difficult to build in
sufficient professional counseling opportunities, as part of the progam, to
help students with the normal, but nevertheless serious, growing pains of
finding their way through the maze of opportunities and challenges.  There
was a counseling service at Antioch when I was there.  I never met the
counselors, barely knew their names, had no clue how to access them, never
knew anyone who went to them, until McQueen came in about '66.  He was more
visible and more accessible, for some reason, and quickly became extremely
busy.  Many students were starving for some real help.  There was not enough
help for all the students who needed it.  Academic advisors, co-op advisors,
preceptoral fellows, none of them really had the background or time to help
us integrate it all.

So I guess that's my soapbox.  I hope there is a vigorous and very
accessible and not overwhelmed counseling service at Antioch now, and a
mechanism whereby all students who are struggling can voice their struggles
and find a genuine listening ear to help them work through them.   The Inner
College helped themselves a lot by having a lot of meetings and discussing
what they were struggling with, and I think those meetings really provided
them with a lot of support.  Nevermind the structural changes that came
about as a result, it was the discussions that were the real mechanism.
 
(I've also kept in touch with many of my Antioch friends.  The things we
shared were so central to who we are.   When Peter and I were married (after
meeting at Antioch 33 years earlier), several of them came to our wedding in
'98.  It's been great to keep in touch and know how people's lives are
unfolding.  I don't know about your friends, but mine are all out there
winning victories for humanity!)

Pam